Tag Archives: video games

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega

29 Nov

If you know Pete, the following statement will come as no surprise to you: My boyfriend is obsessed with electronics.

He has an iPhone, iPad, MacBook Pro, iPod, PS3, Xbox, Wii, and funky cables to connect them all. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to recreate the perfect storm that brought Kelly LeBrock to life in Weird Science, but it’s hard to be sure.

So over the long Thanksgiving weekend, Pete and I decided to settle in and spend an afternoon on the couch watching movies. While I was walking to the kitchen, Pete asked me to please put the Army of Darkness DVD in his Play Station.

“Ok, but you can’t yell at me like you did last time,” I said. “No yelling ok?”

This is a transcription of the conversation that followed:

Eva reaches towards the Play Station.

Pete: “Take out the video game that’s in there… NO NO NO!! Turn on the PS3, you have to turn it on first!”

Eva turns on the Play Station and safely removes the video game from the system.

Pete: “Ok now put in the new DVD in… SHINY SIDE UP SHINY SIDE UP!!!!”

I have no idea what he’s talking about until I look at my right hand. I was about to put the video game down on the table “shiny side down”. I know, it’s pretty much as bad as putting a baby in the microwave, right?

Eva: “Pete, you said you wouldn’t yell.”

Pete: “I’m sorry, Eva. It’s just that if the video game gets scratched, it won’t work.” [Takes deep breath.] “Can you please hand me the controller?… UNPLUG IT UNPLUG IT FIRST!!!… OTHER END OTHER END NO YELLING!!!”

Pete looks like he is about to go into cardiac arrest. Eva looks like she is pissed because this is exactly what happened last time.

Eva: “Did you actually just yell ‘no yelling’?”

Pete just looked at me sheepishly and apologized. Meanwhile, I mentally noted to never touch any of Pete’s electronics ever again, for fear of death.

I still can’t believe that he yelled, “No yelling”. While he was trying his best to keep his calm, the words that were going through his mind actually came out of his mouth. Thank God that’s never happened to me before.

Do other women feel that video games turn loving, interesting men into senseless, boring puddles of mush?

But more importantly: Am I the only one that gets motion sickness from video games? I feel like that’s the universe’s way of telling me to get off the couch and go for a walk. But maybe that’s just me?