Tag Archives: chicago

Chicago International Film Festival

10 Oct

A movie about depressing Chicago winters? Yes, please!

Let me just start this story with the following disclaimer: My father cannot sit through a movie in the theater without complaining about how annoying everyone around him is and how THAT GUY is chewing way too loudly. I never thought I would become that person. A few days ago, I had an experience that made me realize that I am my father.

Pete and I were lucky enough to attend the opening night of the Chicago International Film Festival. We got free food (which I think we actually stole, and then encouraged others to do the same, but that’s besides the point), rubbed elbows with celebrities like Gary Cole and Dennis Farina and attended a star-studded after-party (we SWEAR Billy Zane was there).

It should’ve been, like, the best night ever, but it was kind of a flop. Let me explain.

The main feature of the night was the premiere of this new indie film, “The Last Rites of Joe May”. We were soooo excited to be sitting in a world premiere!

Then the movie started. It’s about this old man who has no friends or family. While in the hospital with pneumonia, his landlord thinks he’s dead and gives his apartment away to a woman with an abusive boyfriend. Because that’s not depressing.

Oh, and did I mention the film takes place in the middle of a Chicago winter? I have to live through that ish every year and really wasn’t in the mood to be reminded of the sad, sunless season that starts in just a few weeks.

So about 20 minutes into the movie, I realized this film was not my cup of tea and started spacing out. That’s when I first took notice of the woman sitting next to me. She was wearing a bright blue skirt and leopard print high heels which should’ve been a sign that she was going to be a handful. She had this little clutch with a snap that made this little “POP!” every time she opened it.  She’d “POP!” it open every five minutes, search around for her phone with it’s glaring white light, then “POP!” it back closed. And she kept “POP!”-ing her gum. I think there was something wrong with her jaw because normal bubblegum bubbles are not that loud.

And then there was this smell. Someone was wearing wayyyyyyyyy too much perfume. And someone (might have been the same person, not sure) took a dump in their pants. Not even kidding, it really smelled like someone had an accident in a perfume shop, it was so terrible.

And I sat through that for over two hours. I wanted to die and I kept rubbing my temples and rolling my eyes. By the end, I was in a really horrible mood.

The only good thing that came out of the evening was that Pete dropped his (stolen) beer bottle on the ground and it rolled all the way down to the front of the deathly quiet theater. The whole theater broke out into applause and Pete said he felt like a real celebrity!

Today is Pete’s birthday. And you know what the only thing worse than that stupid movie I had to watch? This commercial:

Pete’s been singing this song all day, and I can’t say anything because it’s his birthday and I’m not allowed to be mean today. This is just not my week.


Feeling lucky?

15 Feb

Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t posted in WEEKS! Not that I’ve been particularly busy, but I did start a new job. I’m also taking tennis lessons now, just FYI.

So while I’ve been away, Pete has had a rash of bad luck.

Here’s what’s happened to the poor guy:

– Got sick in Mexico (you can read about that here)
– Went to the doctor when we got home. Passed out at the office of said doctor. (Although the female doctor, nurse and secretary all rubbed his back and fed him bananas, pretty much his dream come true.)
– Went on antibiotics for upper respiratory infection
– Car battery went dead outside his favorite Mexican restaurant, Allende
– Car got broken into several days later (the mistress upstairs broke the news to him)
– Burned his eyeballs with my sister’s contact solution during the big blizzard and had to miss work

I, on the other hand, have had some very good luck, thanks to the kindness of strangers.

As you all know, Chicago got slammed by a huge blizzard a few weeks ago. I decided it would be a good idea to drive, completely unprepared for the extreme weather, one day later. BAD IDEA.

Not a good day for a drive.

Well, needless to say, I got stuck in the alley behind my apartment building. I was freaking out big time and did not know how I was going to get myself out. I noticed a guy in the lot next door with a snow blower. I asked if he had a shovel I could use to dig myself out. He let me borrow a shovel, but that’s not all — this baby angel of a man dug out the wheels of my car, pushed my car out of the snow and drove it into my spot.

And I repaid him by accidentally breaking his shovel in half. Oops! I offered to buy him a new one, but he said all he wanted was a hug. So I hugged him and he was very sweaty, but that’s OK.

As he walked away, he shouted out, “Just remember – your car rules the snow – not the other way around.”

And I never saw him again.


My next bout of good luck came at the most unlikely of places – it’s called Best Buy and I’m pretty sure it’s run by Satan. I swear, they hire the most incompetent, idiotic, pimply kids to work there. A Best Buy customer service representative once suggested I sell my broken camera cord on ebay. WHY WOULD I SELL A BROKEN CAMERA CORD??????

But I digress. So I have an auxiliary cord in my car for my iPod and it was getting old and wasn’t working right. I needed a new one. Which meant I had to call Satan’s Palace, i.e. the Best Buy on Clark. I was really dreading this whole process.

But then I met this baby angel installer who was SOO nice (he was actually the same guy that helped me a few years ago and stayed late to help me when I got stuck in traffic on my way home) and didn’t charge me at all for labor, just $8.99 for the new cord. I was in and out of there within 15 minutes. Mission accomplished.

I still hate Best Buy, just for the record, but I do love that one guy.

And these are just two reasons I remain optimistic in mankind.