Life Updates

28 Sep

I just wanted to share a few very important life updates:

1. The Wicker Park Floozy (see “Lies, deceit, and other things I love” for the full story) moved out of Pete’s old apartment building, according to neighborhood sources. I’m pretty bummed about that. I bet her sugar daddy broke up with her and she couldn’t afford the outrageous rent anymore. Darn.

2. The lady I mentioned (see “Cube Etiquette”) complained in a recent meeting that she goes home with a headache everyday because the area around her is too loud. And could everyone around her really try to keep it down because she’s on the phone all day. Huh.

3. I went to Minnesota over the weekend with my mom to visit my sister at St. Olaf College. Man, that place is a trip. People SING on campus there, like it’s a freakin’ episode of Glee or something! I went to the University of Iowa and the only thing people did there was drink alcohol and make poor choices.

4. Heard this song on Pandora radio yesterday and went crazy in my car.

Other than that, I’ve  just been super busy with work and wedding planning but hope to be posting more stories next month!

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Conference

15 Sep

Earlier this summer, I attended a conference for work in Washington, D.C. I was only gone for a days, but missed my fiancé all the same.

When I got home, he asked how my trip was.

I said, “It was fine, but there was this weird guy there who was hitting on me ALL week. He said I had a ‘beautiful spirit’.”

“Did he have brain damage?” Pete asked.

So don’t be surprised when I run off with the guitarist from Journey.

It starts with an “F” and ends in an “ootball”

8 Sep

Last week, I was sitting in my fleece robe on the couch in a little ball, watching “True Life: I’m in the Marijuana Business.”

Then Pete came home. And the worst thing in the world happened.

I believe it’s called “pre-season football”.

Without so much of a “hello”, Pete walked over to the TV, switched off my trashy show, and turned on the pre-season Bears game. Then he started chanting “Football! Football!” I wanted to puke.

I immediately threw a tantrum – balled up fists, arched back, flailing limbs and all. Even that didn’t catch Pete’s attention, so after about five minutes, I got up and sulked into the bedroom to watch Netflix.

It’s not even that I hate football so much – I love watching Iowa games and the fall weather is so crisp, it’s hard not to get into the spirit of the season! But what I do hate is being ignored for FIVE AND  A HALF MONTHS. Has someone ever given you the cold shoulder for that long? Because it’s pretty miserable.

Pete cannot be reasoned with when football’s on. Speaking in grunts and shoulder shrugs can only last so long before the conversation tapers off. I’ve even tried to talk to him in the same voice I used to talk to my old dog Mousse in, but I guess Pete isn’t a dog, because it doesn’t seem to work.

But on the plus side, at least I get a lot of reading done in the fall.

Wisconsin State Fair

21 Aug

Being the awesome Midwesterners we are, all the women in my family traveled to the Wisconsin State Fair last week. It was a TON of fun, but I think one of my favorite moments from the fair happened before we even got there.

The night before our big day at the state fair, I was trying to find the address online when I started reading the state fair FAQs. That’s where I ran across gems like this:

– Will you have Cream Puffs this year?

– How do I pre-order Cream Puffs? When is the Cream Puff Drive Thru open?

– Do you deliver Cream Puffs?

– Will the Giant Slide be there?

– Will there be food on a stick?

– What time are the pig races?

– What are the days when the animals won’t be in the barns?

– Will the vendors who do the gadget demonstrations be there?

Did I have a Cream Puff? You betcha I did.

Did I eat food on a stick? Heck yeah. (Deep-fried snickers and deep-fried bacon with country gravy, in case you were wondering)

Did I watch the pig races and gadget demonstrations? Yes and yes (I liked the gadget demonstrations better).

I also saw several hundred fat people.

Overall, I’d have to say it was the best day ever.


Engrossing Conversation

15 Aug

 

After a year-long hiatus from Facebook, Pete has rejoined the social network. It was at my request, because I thought that people thought I was just making him up. That I was one of those crazy baby-stealing ladies who tells everyone she’s engaged but really has seven cats.

Well, the moral of the story is be careful what you wish for because he’s back on Facebook, and the quality of our conversation has taken a nosedive.

For instance, the other night, I was reading a fascinating article about a runaway groom.

“Pete,” I said, “You have to hear about this. There’s a groom that ran away. I mean, he just up and LEFT! What do you think of that?!?!?!?!?”

Without even tearing himself away from his precious Facebook friends, Pete just shrugged his shoulders and said, “Sounds good to me.”

He had no idea what I was talking about.

Then, no more than one hour later, I walked into the bedroom, and there he was, curled up in bed, still on Facebook.

“Hi Pete,” I said, sitting down next to him.

“Nothing,” he replied.

That’s weird, because I’m pretty sure when someone says hi, you’re supposed to respond with a similar response – not “Nothing.” That’s something you would say if you THOUGHT someone had asked you what you were doing, since you weren’t really listening at all.

And so, Pete’s back on Facebook.

Volunteer Day

31 Jul

A few weeks ago, my workplace hosted a volunteer outing, where we did some painting and landscaping for a local service center. Someone hired a photographer to take pictures of us giving back to the community.

Well, I guess I wasn’t too happy with the prospect of spending my day helping others, because this is a picture of myself on that very morning. Please note that I am looking away from the speaker, so I have no idea why I’m giving a snotty look to someone in the other direction.

And then here’s a picture taken only a few minutes later, still giving snotty looks in the opposite direction of the speaker:

And that’s just one more reason I hate all photographers.

Power Outage

17 Jul

Pete and I experienced out first power outage in our new place last weekend. It was the day before that horrible storm that hit Chicago, I think it was just a brown-out or some kind of ComEd accident.

The two of us spent the day in bed, nursing our hangovers from the night before (I had gone out for a few drinks as a mini birthday celebration) watching 30 Rock and the Women’s World Cup on TV.

Pete was sleeping and I was wasting time looking at interior design blogs and fantasizing about Sub-Zero refrigerators when our electricity was cut off.

Then I heard our new neighbor. Within 30 seconds of the lights going out, he was out on the porch, demanding answers.

You would’ve thought he spotted a Nazi plane with the sense of urgency he had about our loss of power. The following is a transcription of the conversation that took place over the following five minutes. He was yelling and everyone else was talking in normal people voices, so I could only hear the following:

“IS YOUR POWER OUT?”

“OUR POWER IS OUT. IS YOUR POWER OUT?”

“HUH. I’LL BE DAMNED. THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD JUST LOST POWER.”

“HAS ANYONE CALLED COMED?”

“YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST POWER OUTAGE WE’VE HAD SINCE WE’VE LIVED HERE.”

“NO, I’M NOT WORRIED, JUST SAYING I CAN’T BELIEVE THE POWER’S OUT”

“I’M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE FRIDGE.”

“I CANNOT BELIEVE THE POWER’S OUT.”

“OH WAIT, WHAT? COMED’S IN THE ALLEY? THEY’RE IN THE ALLEY?”

“COMED MUST’VE KNOCKED THE POWER OUT.”

That’s how I learned why our power went out.

P.S. In case you’re wondering, why yes, I will be attending Stieg Larsson night at the library this week.

How totally amazing is that Led Zepplin cover by Trent Reznor?!?!?  And I CANNOT WAIT for the movie to come out.