Archive | April, 2011

Things I learned over Easter weekend

26 Apr

Here are a few things that I learned about my family over Easter weekend:

– My mom is apparently the lead foot of the family. I learned this as she was driving the family to a restaurant on Saturday night and a neighbor yelled after her, “SLOW DOWN!” Except we couldn’t hear what he was saying because my mom was driving too fast. We just saw his mouth moving and his shaking fist as we sped past.

– I’m not sure what’s stranger – that my dad started singing, “Slippin’ on gin and juice” incessantly, or that my mom corrected him by yelling, “It’s not slippin’ it’s sippin’!!!”

– If rumor is correct, my two youngest sisters never visit me in the city because I “go to sleep to early”. Ok, well guess what, 10:30 on a Friday night is really late! Sheesh!

– My boyfriend says really flattering things about me when I’m not around. Like after I went to sleep on Saturday night (it was way past 10:30) one of my sisters passed gas in front of him and in response, he said, “It’s OK. Eva does that all the time.”

– My sister Didgie and my dad really like this show called “Swamp People” and it’s extremely disturbing to me. Not so much that these people trap gators, but that the “Swamp People” wear overalls with no shirt underneath. There’s something very wrong about that. I’m worried that if my dad and sister keep watching the show, they’ll start saying things like, “Dems guud eatin’ ” in unintelligible accents.

Running Fail

13 Apr

Over the weekend, I ran the Shamrock Shuffle 8K. It’s the largest 8K in the world, it was hard, I met my personal goal, blah blah blah.

That’s not the story I wanted to share with you.

The story is that while at work today, I received an email from some sneaky photography company that takes photos during these races and puts them up online – including two of yours truly. Sounds like some kind of sick joke to me.

Because the pictures were BAD. Not just like, “Oh she must be having a rough day” bad but like, “Does she have some kind of terrible deformity” bad.

To illustrate what I mean, here’s an email convo I had with Pete about said photos:

On Wed, Apr 13, 2011 at 3:25 PM, Eva wrote: Pete, you have to check out the photos of me – they are AWFUL and hilarious.

On Wed, Apr 13, 2011 at 3:47 PM, Peter wrote: Wow…I just laughed so hard.  The first one isn’t a bad picture.  The second one definitely is.  Looks like you are going to poop your pants, then die, and then poop again.

On Wed, April 13, 2011 at 3:48 PM, Peter wrote: Or maybe the second one looks like someone who was in the Special Olympics race and accidentally crossed over into the 8K.

So I’m not going to post the photo on this page, because it’s just too embarrassing. But if you really want to see something pathetic, click to read more and you can see me there.

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Adventures in Journalism

2 Apr

I’m feeling too lazy to write something original, so here’s a story from a few years back that I posted on my Facebook page. This is when I was still working at the newspaper. Enjoy!

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The weirdest thing happened to me the other day. I wrote this story about couples in my towns who had been married forever for a Valentine’s Day story and I collected wedding photos from all of them.

I went to return them last week, and I was running late (of course). At this one house, I saw the wife, Nancy, in the car in the garage, so I ran up to the car to catch her before she left. I was standing right outside the window and waving my arms but I guess she didn’t see me because she started backing up. I was like, “Nancy! Nancy!” but she just left and closed the garage door. While I was in the garage.

I was like, “This is awkward.”

I didn’t know what to do. I kind of wanted to pretend I had never been there so I didn’t want to open the garage door because then I wouldn’t have been able to close it again. There garage is connected to the house, so I tried the door to the house. It was unlocked. So I walked through the house…but then I heard the husband talking on the phone!

I was like, “What if he sees me!!!?!?!?!?!” So I tiptoed to the front door and left the photos on the bench in their front hall, unlocked the front door, and RAN out to my car.

Later the husband sent me an e-mail that said, “Thanks for dropping off the photos!”

Do you think he wondered how they got there?

Also, I was in the bathroom at work late the other night, and I don’t know who was in there, but I heard this really low moan, just like from The Grudge! OMG, the bathroom by the front door is haunted! Don’t go in there!