Archive | January, 2011

Our trip to London, i.e. the Cinnamon Bun Story

30 Jan

So tonight I went out to dinner with my family and we took a trip down memory lane and starting talking about the family trip we took to London in 1996. I was 10 and Didgie was 7 – and my two younger sisters stayed at home because they were too little.

Did we talk about Buckingham Palace and the Tower of London and Madame Tussaudes and all the other cool things we got to do and see on our trip?

No.

We talked about the cinnamon bun story.

What is the cinnamon bun story, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you right now.

On our first day in London, we were really jet lagged so my parents took me and Didgie to Hyde Park just after dawn, since we couldn’t sleep anyways. It was really quiet in the park, and it looked like we were the only people there.

Then we ran into this insane homeless man. He was this older English dude and he was wearing these glasses that looked like they were being held together by paper clips.

And he was definitely up for a conversation. I don’t remember how or why we had even listened to what he was saying in the first place, but apparently, we had stumbled right into the middle of a hedgehog funeral.

Yes, this crazy man told us that when he built a fire for himself in the park, a hedgehog dove into the fire and, sadly, died. And now he was holding a funeral for the poor animal.

We looked down. There was the dead hedgehog, in a casket made of one of those plastic restaurant take-out boxes. The homeless man had tried to turn it into a proper funeral, and had decorated the casket with flowers and sprigs he had found in the park.

“He was really bright too. I had even taught him some tricks,” he told us. That confused me, because if the hedgehog was as bright as this man was telling us, why would it run into a bonfire?

So it was probably one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen to this day, and after a few minutes of this weird babbling by the homeless man, we started walking away. The man was still talking as we walked away, but my parents just smiled and waved and told us to keep walking.

For the rest of the trip, Didgie and I would look at each other about every 10 minutes and ask, “What if he’s STILL TALKING?!?!?!?!?” and then we’d start laughing hysterically.

Anyways, we left the park, and here’s where the cinnamon bun comes into the story. We saw – I swear to god – a piece of dog doodie that looked JUST like a cinnamon bun. Like someone had just dropped a perfectly good cinnamon bun in the middle of the street accidently.

So, as you can imagine, we thought this was pretty freaking funny.

Just as we were recovering from the homeless man/cinnamon bun combo, Didgie looked up at me, and her eyes got really big.

“What if someone thinks it’s real and tries to EAT IT?!?!?!?!?” she asked.

Well, that just put us over the top and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard in my whole life.

And I’ve never looked at a cinnamon bun the same way since.

Our other memory from that trip: When Didgie threw up in a bowl of oatmeal.

So, all in all, in turned out to be a pretty awesome trip.

In other news, Pete is watching Freaks and Geeks and just texted me to let me know that Millie reminds him of me. Ahhh, how sweet it is to be loved by Pete.

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Mexico, continued

22 Jan

So Pete and I have been really good about money during this vacation – we’ve only gone out to eat a few times and made all our other meals in the condo.

But I really wanted to try out a restaurant at another hotel set in the mountain called Las Bristas. The travel guide said it was a beautiful view of the ocean and you could see iguanas in the jungle trees in the morning. Cool!!!

So at about 10 this morning, Pete and I took a cab to Las Bristas and indulged in an awesome brunch. The waiter said the iguanas were usually out of sight by 7 am (drats!) but we still had fun. We finished breakfast around 11:30 and decided it would be fun if we walked back to the condo instead of cabbing it.

As we were paying the bill for brunch, our waiter said that he would “look the other way” if we wanted to look around the resort a little bit. We thought that sounded like a fine idea. All we wanted to do was take a look at the pool and be on our merry way.

And that’s when our Mexican nightmare began.

Las Bristas is like a maze. There are all these unmarked paths through the mountainside so it took us quite a bit of time just to find the pool. We stared at the old biddies floating on their backs for about five minutes before we decided to head home. It was getting close to noon at this point and the sun was getting pretty hot.

I suggested we just walk down to the beach and head back to our place from there. So we spent another 10 minutes trying to find the path leading down to the beach. Then we finally saw the beach. Yay!

“Eva, this is the wrong beach,” Pete pointed out, sweat beading on his forehead.

I looked down. Sure enough, there was a mountain separating the Las Bristas beach from the rest of the beach.

Oops.

“Bad idea. Bad idea,” Pete said to me, looking amused.

So back up the mountain we went. It was getting really freaking hot.

When we mastered the mountain path we were on, we both sighed in relief and prepared to walk back into the resort looking sheepish.

Except then we turned a corner and were faced with literally 1,000 steps. I’m not even kidding. Literally 1,000 steps to get back up to the lobby of the hotel.

So I’m not very patient but Pete has more patience and energy than anyone I’ve ever met. He was singing and hugging and kissing me through this whole debacle. At one point, when I expressed disappointment about the lack of wildlife I’d seen at Las Bristas, he said, “Well I think I just saw Nagini coming to get you!!!!”

Nagini is the giant snake from Harry Potter.

So we’re back at the steps. Pete decides to turn walking up the steps into a new game. Here’s how it goes: Take one step. Bump hips with Eva. Shout “Nagini!”

Step. Bump. Nagini!

Step. Bump. Nagini!

Well that game lost it’s charm pretty quickly and I had to tell him to knock it off because I was about to throw myself down the 1,000 steps.

Anyways, over an hour later, we had finally found our way back to the Las Bristas lobby, back to the main streets of Ixtapa and back to the condo, dripping with sweat and ready for a nap down by the pool.

This was a trip that should’ve taken us no more than 15 minutes, give or take.

Mexico thus far

15 Jan

Pete and I are currently spending a week of interrupted fun in Ixtapa, Mexico. Just wanted to share some highlights of our trip thus far (there aren’t a lot since we just got here last night).

Yesterday was traveling day for me and Pete. But it quickly turned into Weekend at Bernie’s when I slept an unfathomable amount throughout the day. We had to wake up at 3 am to make our flight and I pretty much slept until we got here at 5 pm. So Pete spent the day trying to keep me awake long enough to catch connecting flights and string together full sentences.

And Pete has some kind of flu. Which is unfortunate and disgusting at the same time.

Mexico woo-hoo!

More highlights to come.

Spotted: The Wicker Park Floozy

5 Jan

Rachel Uchitel: Love addict or professional floozy?

So after Pete and I confirmed that the woman living on the top floor of Pete’s apartment building was, in fact, a real-life mistress (see Lies, Deceit and other thing I love), she had been mysteriously absent from the building. Her car is never there and no one ever sees her walking out and about. It’s strange, since I know she has at least one dog that probably has to go to the bathroom every once and awhile. Maybe she has one of those crazy house trained dogs.

ANYWAYS, the mistress, or as I’ve come to call her, the Wicker Park Floozy, was SPOTTED by my very own boyfriend earlier this week.

Pete was walking home from somewhere and talking on the phone with me at the same time. I was talking his ear off about something critical like my clown phobia or X-Files Season 3 when he suddenly got very quiet.

“Eva,” he whispered. “I just saw them.”

“Saw who? Why are you whispering?”

“The mistress and her man. I was walking into the building and they came up behind me. The guy said, ‘Perfect timing, huh?’ and then they both laughed.”

“Did you slam the door in their faces and run away?”

“No I let them in.”

“Oh ok. That was nice of you.”

So the Wicker Park Floozy is still alive and well. And still floozing, apparently. That’s pretty much all I wanted to say.

New Years Eve: An Illustrated Event

4 Jan

How was your New Year’s?

Oh wow, that sounds cool. Here’s how mine went down:

I spent the holidays at my parents in the burbs. So in the morning, I got my nails done with my mom and Sister Caroline and Sister Didgie. Sister Anna was too feeble and sleepy to make the trip, just like Colin from the Secret Garden.

Anna feeling too sleepy and feeble to get her nails did

After leaving the nail salon with FABULOUS sparkly purple fingernails, we promptly convinced my mother that we were STARVING for breakfast at Northfield Diner and we’d just DIE if we couldn’t eat cheese omelettes.

After breakfast at Northfield Diner, we convinced my mother that we were PARCHED for coffee at Starbucks and we’d just DIE if we couldn’t drink venti non-fat vanilla lattes to wash down our omelettes.

Then we made a pit stop at the dry cleaners. There is a mean lady who works there and she looks like this:

Mean lady at the cleaners a.k.a. Ludo from Labyrinth

When we finally got back to my parents, we attempted to wake up Sister Anna from her deep slumber. This is what she looked like:

Anna in the morning

I finally made it back to the city in the late afternoon and got ready to go. I put on spanx and control-top panty hose, and with my fat firmly vacuum-sealed into my gut, I was ready to head out the door at 3:50 p.m. Unfortunately, our New Year’s extravaganza didn’t start until 6:30 p.m., so I watched YouTube videos until my friends Karen and Sam came over a few hours later. Here’s what I watched to get me in the mood for New Year’s:

The party we went to at a banquet hall on the Northwest side was AWESOME! See how much fun I’m having with Adam, Pete’s roommate:

Aren't we cute???

We danced, ate great Italian food, drank some alcohol (but not too much) and laughed a lot. And I’m pretty sure the guy sitting next to me was Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds (and it wasn’t Pete – it was the guy sitting on the other side of me):

An Ogre at my table?

It was definitely a fun day. Things I’m looking forward to in 2011 include my upcoming trips to Mexico and Ireland with Peter! And don’t worry – I’ll definitely be blogging your eyes off this year!!!

Men are hard to shop for: Part II

2 Jan

As I’m sure you’ve been waiting with bated breath, the time has come to reveal my Christmas present to Peter (see Men are hard to shop for: Part I). I got him a 1941 Waltham military watch. Here’s a pic:

I ordered it on eBay, and when I first got it in the mail, I was worried because the face was smaller than I had imagined and I thought it looked too feminine. It also had this terrible tacky expandable metal band (which wasn’t original to the watch). So I asked my dad what he thought.

“It’s nice. Really nice,” my dad said. “But you have to get rid of that band. It looks too femmy. It looks awful.”

So I bought a new brown leather watch band and it did look MUCH better. It turns out that the band was a little too small for Pete’s monstrous wrists, but it’s only $20, so I can get him a new one, no biggie.

Here’s what Pete has to say about the watch:

“I like my watch for four reasons: 1. It’s pragmatic. 2. It’s something I would never buy for myself, but something I wanted. 3. It’s unique. 4. It’s something I can use everyday.”

“And don’t forget number five!” my mom added. “It was gifted with LOVE!”

“Yes,” Pete said. “That’s right. I like my watch for five reasons.”

I, on the other hand, got some super duper awesome Christmas/Hanukkah presents. I don’t want to name them all because they are so awesome you would probably want to rob me or something, but I did get a really cool giant picture frame that I want to hang above my bed but I’m afraid it will fall on me while I’m sleeping and kill me. I also got a baby orangutan named Luna (This is my second venture in international primate adoption. I named my first orangutan Bono.)

And that was just Christmas. I can’t wait to tell you about New Years.