Leatherface and other tales from a Saturday night

24 Oct

To get into the Halloween spirit, Pete and I hauled ourselves to Hammond, In. last night for a visit to Reaper’s Realm. It’s a haunted house and it’s pretty effing creepy if you ask me (but then again, I’m scared of everything from homeless people to swingers so don’t take my word for it).

We went there last year on our first date and there are a few recurring themes I’d like to point out:
– For a second year, I grabbed onto the back of Pete’s fleece with superhuman strength. This year, he accused me of trying to strangle him.
– I continue to believe that Reaper’s Realm does not meet current building codes and is not ADA accessible. I will consider bringing my concerns to the attention of management.
–  Also, for a second year, the real horror was the people in line with us. Please do not bring your three-year-old to a haunted house. And all the stereotypes that go along with Indiana white trash were there too, but I can’t go into detail without offending someone so I guess just use your imagination for that one.

Pete got shocked by some electrical equipment. I’m pretty sure that was not a haunted house attraction.

So as we’re walking through the whole house, I was trying to look straight ahead, hide behind Pete as much as possible and tell myself that these guys aren’t allowed to touch you. No matter how much they get in my face or jump out, they cannot touch me. Then we got to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre room. Well, Leatherface touched me. He stuck the chainsaw in the hallway in front of me and would not move. I managed to get one leg around the chainsaw but then he just pointed that thing at my crotch. I yelled “Excuse me!” but I guess Leatherface is hard of hearing because he didn’t budge. Then he touched the chainsaw to my inner thigh (it was then I realized that it wasn’t a REAL chainsaw, thank goodness!), I finally managed to get around him and he started torturing the group behind us.

So that was fun.

Here’s a brief update on the other aspects of my life:

– I finished bootcamp last week. It was terrible but I’m so glad I did it. I feel so much stronger and I completed the post-assessment three minutes faster than pre-assessment! The program is called Bulldog Bootcamp and if you’re not scared to have your butt kicked into shape in the great outdoors three days a week, I definitely recommend this program.

– Now I’m doing fitness dance classes at MaZi Dance Fitness in Wicker Park. I just finished my first week and it’s SO MUCH FUN! It kicks my butt and works out areas of my body I didn’t even know were there.

– I also signed up for my first 5K, the Hot Chocolate 5K/15K. It’s on Nov. 6 so wish me luck!

Ohhhh Creepy Twins

– I’d like to tell you about a book I just finished called Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger. She also wrote the Time Traveler’s Wife. It’s about two twins from Lake Forest who inherit a flat in London from their dead aunt. The ghost of the aunt still lives in the flat and haunts the girls. One of the twins gets annoyed with the other and decides to fake her own death to get away.

That’s where the book lost me. Fake your own death? Oh really, that’s a very smart and logical plan. I wanted to tell her to just get a job at Top Shop or whatever young women do for money in England. When I lived with my sisters and couldn’t stand to be around them, I just told them to get lost. Problem solved.

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One Response to “Leatherface and other tales from a Saturday night”

  1. Wendy October 24, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    That pumpkin photo is very, very cool. I love him.

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